i heart mary

So you think ballpark food is fatty? You haven’t seen nothing yet. Take a look at this 5,000 calorie beast of a burger and tell me you just want to take that monster and throw it right at the minor league baseball team, contributing to America’s rising obesity and all. The West Michigan Whitecaps are based outside of Grand Rapids and promises anyone who successfully consumes this $20 worth burger a free t-shirt. Great. That’s like saying, “We’ll give you a FREE t-shirt if you’re willing to give up a few years of your precious life.” Who doesn’t like free stuff right? But why does it have to be that big? I just don’t get it. Here is the breakdown of what the burger includes: a beef patty weighing five-thirds of a pound, nacho cheese, chili, salsa, crunched tortilla chips, tomato and lettuce on an 8-inch sesame seed bun. I really hope they have paramedics sitting next to people who are eating this burger. Ridiculous!